The will to quit: sharing one personal quitting journey to inspire others with similar goals.
Those who’ve gone through it are the first to say that quitting smoking is difficult. However, with the right tools and a good dose of motivation, anything is possible. Caroline Bonin is well aware of this, having taken on the challenge of gifting herself a smoke-free life nearly 15 years ago. Read our interview with this inspirational woman who took the path of choosing herself and believing in her strength.
A habit is born
Cigarettes came into Caroline’s life fairly early, at a time when smoking daily was normal for many people. “In the 1990s, you could buy single cigarettes at the corner store,” she recalled. She was drawn to it because it was forbidden, and gradually, she developed the habit of smoking daily. “It played a big part in my life from the get-go,” Caroline continued. “I like to take things to the extreme, so when I like something, I go all out.” Though she thought of quitting now and then over the years, in the end it took her 20 years to reach the turning point.
Cigarettes as a crutch
In retrospect, Caroline thinks that one of the reasons she smoked was to reduce her anxiety. Despite frequent respiratory infections, the pleasure of the ritual and the social aspect of smoking on a daily basis reinforced this habit in her life. However, she now realizes that she didn’t feel good about herself as a smoker. “The word that keeps coming to mind when I think back to this time is grey. I felt grey and smelly. I knew that whenever I went somewhere, I was followed by the smell of this awful habit. It bothered me, but not enough to make me quit,” she admitted candidly.
The catalyst: love
One day, 18 years ago, Caroline met Jacques. It was love at first sight! “Jack,” as he was called, was a very active man and an avid runner. Caroline was a smoker and didn’t exercise. “I judged people who were into fitness, because, to a certain degree, I envied them,” she said. “It was something I couldn’t do. Just climbing the stairs with bags of groceries was challenging.” As for Jacques, he never pressured her to join him, but she dreamed of being able to do so. “I knew that as long as I smoked, it wouldn’t be possible.”
The idea began to percolate in her head for a few months. “What motivated me was an awareness-raising campaign inviting people to overcome their addiction to cigarettes. I was motivated by the challenge, and I wanted to take part,” she recalled. So, one beautiful morning, she spontaneously decided to join her boyfriend on his run. “I ran for five minutes and I was as red as a lobster! I felt nauseous; I felt sick most of the day,” she recounted. This experience was an eye-opener, making Caroline realize how out of shape she was, and she stopped smoking abruptly without even waiting for the challenge to start.
Tools in the quitting toolbox
Caroline makes no bones about it: she found the first days after quitting physically and psychologically difficult. “I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I realized that I used cigarettes a lot to self-regulate. I had to relearn how to manage my mood,” she said. To help with the process, she read about the topic, wanting to be fully equipped for the challenge. “I had one app that counted the number of cigarettes I skipped, another that tracked the improvement of my organs, and another that tracked how much money I was saving. During this time, one sentence really struck me: ‘The unpleasantness is temporary.’” She said this thought is what she clung to through the toughest times.
You have to use all the tools available to you, including support groups. Talking to people going through the same thing really helped a lot.
Finding her passion and her confidence
Caroline quickly noticed the positive effects on her body. She started to run more seriously, and her progress drove her to continue—so much so that the sport gradually became a great passion for her. Jacques and Caroline are able to travel, thanks to the money she’s saved. “We choose our destinations based on running race locations. We even ran in Hawaii! There are so many things I wouldn’t have experienced if I was still smoking,” she remarked, her voice filled with emotion. The confidence she gained in winning this fight also allowed her to return to school to become a special education technician, an occupation that gives her joy.
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