Filipa Jackson shares her heartfelt journey through infertility, advocating for male voices in fertility discussions and fostering a sense of community through social media. Her resilience and honesty redefine the expectations of motherhood, offering solace and guidance to those on similar paths
Filipa, can you share your fertility journey with us and what inspired you to share your IVF journey on social media?
It took us 3 years to conceive our first daughter with the help of IVF + ICSI. At first this was an issue of low AHM on my (Filipa) behalf. I was 27 but had the Anti-Müllerian hormone of a 40-year-old. We were taken on a rollercoaster of a journey through medicated timed intercourse, and countless IUI’s before they took a better look at my husband (Sameer) with a DNA fragmentation test that actually dissects the sperm for a deeper analysis. These results informed us that medicated timed intercourse and IUI’s would have never worked and that we actually needed to IVF with a combination of ICSI. We were able to retrieve 5 eggs, 2 would make it to day 6 blastocyst, and only 1 would survive the thawing process for a frozen embryo transfer. That one was our incredible daughter Skye.
Since then, my husband underwent a varicocele embolization which resulted in us conceiving our second daughter without assistance.
We share our fertility journey for many reasons, to advocate for male voices in the fertility world, to allow people to feel less alone and understood, but it’s also become a form of therapy for us. To share our feelings, confusions, and pains and connect with others around the world
Motherhood is a beautiful journey, and your resilience is inspiring. How has your journey shaped your perspective on motherhood and what advice do you have for others embarking on their own paths to parenthood?
After our long fertility journey, I expected a lot when my child was born. I expected the pain, hurt, and confusion from the past 3 years to vanish as soon as our miracle was placed in my arms. It didn’t, I was constantly waiting for the rug to be ripped out from underneath me. I put immense pressure on myself to be happy, grateful. Comparing myself to the smiling mothers I saw on the pages of social media and questioning my own capabilities. I didn’t understand or give myself grace with was the fact that I was dealing with fertility PTSD, let alone navigating this new world of motherhood. Since being honest publicly with my struggles, I realized that I wasn’t alone in my feelings. We have to remember, especially when it comes to social media that often times people just share the highlight reel, that we are all on our own unique journey with motherhood. Our babies weren’t born with a manual, our houses, lifestyles, environments are all completely different and in that comes your own personal motherhood journey that may not look like another’s, and that’s ok.
Do you have any advice, words of encouragement, and/or wisdom you want to share for those starting and going through their journey?
This is such an emotional time, excitement, fear, confusion, and every single one of those feelings are valid. Live in them, don’t bury them. Also advocate for yourself, in the medical world we often take the information we are given as gold, and sometimes it needs to be questioned. Don’t be afraid if something doesn’t seem right, or if you have more questions that need to be answered. Advocate for yourself.
